My grandmother is abusive and making life absolutely unbearable. How should my family proceed?

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. An abusive family member can make life truly unbearable. The guilt and pressure from others to "just deal with it because it's family" is really hard. But you shouldn't have to just grin and bear it when someone is consistently mistreating you. The root cause often comes down to a deep imbalance of power and control. Abusive people use manipulation, intimidation, and toxic behaviors to maintain power over others. They may have unresolved issues from their own upbringing that fuel their need to dominate. But whatever the reason, their dysfunction should never come at the expense of your wellbeing. The first step is to do a "reality audit" as outlined in our guide. Take a clear-eyed look at the situation and your own role in it. Recognize that you cannot control their behavior, only your own responses and boundaries. Next, start implementing the Identity Reconstruction Process. This helps you reclaim your sense of self apart from their toxicity. As you rebuild your self-worth, you'll feel empowered to take constructive action. The Guilt Replacement Technique is also hugely helpful. When the guilt and obligation creep in, consciously replace those feelings with self-compassion. Remind yourself that you deserve to be treated with kindness, not abuse. An Advance Decision Protocol can also protect you — decide ahead of time how you'll respond to their outbursts, rather than getting pulled into the drama in the moment. With these frameworks in place, you can start to build a life where their dysfunction no longer controls you. It's a process, but gradually you'll feel the weight lift. You'll be able to make choices that honor your own wellbeing, without the nagging guilt. And you may even find that your relationships with healthier family members can begin to heal.