QUESTION & RESPONSE

Am I the only one who actually likes when men ask me out after a few messages?

375 people upvoted this because they're dealing with the same thing. Here's what actually works.

375 upvotes r/datingoverthirty Relationships

THE QUESTION

I see a lot of people needing more time before heading out with someone and I am wondering why that is? Has something bad happened in the past? How long do you prefer to wait? I find myself getting frustrated with the 'inane' texters (the men who constantly text wyd? hey, whatchu upto? winky emoji face...for days on end). Unless the conversation is intelligent, stimulating and engaging, I actually prefer men who get to the point relatively quickly and use OLD for its actual purpose, which is to, you know, date. I find such folk to be a bit more goal-oriented in general, which suits my temperament better. After seeing their photos and bio, a few exchanges which shows they can A. Spell, B. Engage in reciprocal communication and C. Are available and also looking for a relationship, what el

TL;DR

Many singles enjoy when matches progress to date invitations after just a few messages, as it can feel more organic and less drawn-out than lengthy pre-date chats.


THE RESPONSE

What’s actually going on here

I hear you, friend. The struggle to find matches on dating apps can be so demoralizing. But let me tell you, you're definitely not alone in this. In fact, I went through a similar experience before discovering the strategies in our "Still No Matches?" guide. The core issue often boils down to what we call the "Geographic Arbitrage" problem. Essentially, the dating pool and competition varies dramatically depending on your location. So even if you have a great profile, it may simply be getting lost in the shuffle in your current area. That's why testing your profile in a different market can yield such dramatically better results, as the Reddit poster discovered. The good news is, there are steps you can take to fix this. First, try the "Vacation Testing Method" - temporarily set your location to a more populated area, like a major city, and see how your matches and engagement improve. This can give you a sense of your true dating potential. Then, consider the "Geographic Testing Method" - systematically test your profile in different regions to find your best-performing location. Once you've identified a more favorable market, you can start to build real momentum. And don't forget the power of the "Completion Hook" - making sure your profile is filled out with compelling details that draw people in. Pair that with the "Shared Experience" and "Helpful Expert" techniques, and you've got a recipe for success. When you start to get these strategies dialed in, the difference can be night and day. Suddenly, you'll be the one fielding messages and choosing from a pool of healthy matches. It's a game-changer, I promise. So don't lose hope - with the right approach, you can absolutely turn this around.

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