605 people upvoted this because they're dealing with the same thing. Here's what actually works.
So I met him from Hinge. He’s pretty cool I’m 32f and he’s 40m. He’s a marine biologist which makes him super amazing in my book. We get on really great. Conversation is always flowing and he keep initiating dates. On our dates we always have fun and laugh a lot. Never an awkward silence. However, each time we go out I’m constantly thinking alright, today is the day he’ll make his move and kiss me or hold my hand or something. And yet… nothing. And you might be thinking to yourself, “OP, why don’t you make the first move”… honestly, good question. But I touch him all the time! I rub his thigh put my leg on his but it starts to make me feel apprehensive because it’s not exactly being reciprocated. He doesn’t put his hand on my leg or put his arm around me or anything. So then I start thin
He may be shy, unsure of your interest, or simply taking things slowly. Communication and setting clear expectations are key to addressing this situation.
I'm really sorry you're going through this struggle. The lack of matches and that frustrating feeling of "what's wrong with me?" is so common in the world of online dating. But I want you to know that it's not a reflection of your worth - the problem often lies in the limitations of the dating apps themselves, not with you. The Geographic Arbitrage System we cover in the guide can help explain what's happening. Essentially, the dating pool and preferences can vary significantly between different geographic areas. So the fact that you're getting way more matches in another location just shows that your profile and preferences may be a better fit for those users. It doesn't mean you're undesirable where you live now. The key is to start testing different locations, even if it's just a neighboring city or suburb. The Geographic Testing Method can help you narrow down the best spots. And don't be afraid to try the Vacation Testing Method either - you may be surprised by the boost in matches when you're traveling, even if it's just a weekend trip. Beyond the location factors, make sure you're also focusing on that Completion Hook we discuss. Filling out your profile with rich, authentic details will make you stand out. And leaning into the Shared Experience approach can help you connect with matches on a deeper level. When you get this right, the difference will be night and day. Suddenly you'll have a healthy match rate, meaningful conversations, and the potential for real connections. It's about finding your best-fit dating pool, not changing who you are. Trust the process, be patient, and know that the right person is out there for you.
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