QUESTION & RESPONSE

How am I suppose to do this? I suck at being a mom.

Posted in r/Mommit with 38 upvotes. This hits home for a lot of people — here's the real answer.

38 upvotes r/Mommit Relationships

THE QUESTION

Gave birth to a beautiful baby three weeks ago. I’m struggling with absolutely everything. Baby couldn’t latch which made breastfeeding so painful that I decided to exclusively pump but I still can’t pump enough and we still have to supplement with formula. So I feel like I suck for not being able to feed baby. She sometimes cries for hours at a time and is just inconsolable! I have no idea what to do anymore after trying every soothing technique. When she is struggling with gas, nothing helps to relieve that either. I even put her diaper on wrong by accident a few days ago which caused a massive blowout to go everywhere. I just feel like none of this is natural and everyone said it would be. I suck at this. How do I keep going? I feel so bad that my baby has me as a mom. Sorry for b...

TL;DR

Toddlers resist being contained or told what to do, especially in stressful situations. With the right approach, you can short-circuit the emotional overload and make the daily battle to get out the door more manageable.


THE RESPONSE

What’s actually going on here

The struggle you're facing is completely understandable. Getting toddlers buckled in the car quickly and calmly can feel like an endless battle. But take heart - you're not alone, and there are strategies that really work. The core issue is that toddlers are wired to resist being contained or told what to do, especially in stressful situations like the mad dash to get out the door. Their little brains just can't handle the emotional overload. But with the right approach, you can short-circuit those meltdowns. First, set the stage for success with The Graduation Strategy. Break down the whole process into tiny, achievable steps - 5 minutes to get shoes on, 4 minutes to walk to the car, 3 minutes to get buckled, and finally 2 minutes of high-fives and praise. Celebrate each mini-victory along the way. Next, enlist your toddler as your Buddy. Let them help with little tasks like clicking the seatbelt or closing the door. They'll be more invested in the process and less likely to fight it. And when it's time for the big finale of actually getting buckled, use The Car Seat Victory Method. Stay calm, give clear instructions, and provide lots of encouragement. With practice, you can get them strapped in with minimal struggle. It may feel impossible now, but I promise these strategies will make a real difference. Soon, this daily battle will transform into a smooth, predictable routine. You'll be strutting out of the parking lot in under 2 minutes, high-fiving your newfound co-pilot. Hang in there - you've got this!

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