A real question from r/socialskills that deserves a real answer. Not generic advice — specific steps.
Hey guys, I’m on the autism spectrum and I also have Tardive Dyskinesia (which is muscle spasms in the face and constant RBF). I went fishing with my uncle yesterday and he told me that I make him look stupid. He’s very smart (smarter than me) and I apologized. I don’t mean to come off as supercilious and I’m very insecure about coming off as an asshole On top of that, my TD makes it hard for me to control facial expressions and I sometimes have seizures for no reason. I was prescribed Ingrezza but it caused me to have severe tremors. Now, I have to be on Gabapentin 1800mg a day. People always seem to get irritated at me and I think it’s because I come off as uptight. By the way, I’m not a genius. My IQ is only around 100. It’s very difficult to make friends. I obviously don’t know ...
To avoid sounding condescending, practice active listening, ask thoughtful questions, and acknowledge others' perspectives. Maintain an open and empathetic demeanor, and resist the urge to lecture or dismiss others' views.
We've all been there - standing on the sidelines, watching a lively group chat and feeling like an outsider. The tightness in your chest, the racing thoughts, the struggle to find the right thing to say. It's a painfully common experience, especially for those of us dealing with social anxiety. The root of the issue often lies in a phenomenon we call "skills atrophy." Over time, as we withdraw from group interactions, our natural conversational instincts and social awareness start to erode. We lose touch with that innate ability to read social cues and contribute effortlessly. Suddenly, we find ourselves grasping for topics, worried about being perceived as awkward or condescending. The good news is, you can rebuild those skills through a simple, three-step process. First, focus on evidence collection - observing the group dynamic, taking mental notes on how people interact. This helps recalibrate your social radar. Next, work on identity reinforcement, reminding yourself of the qualities that make you an interesting, valuable person to have in the group. Finally, practice the BRIDGE Method - Breathing, Relaxing your body, Initiating conversation, Directing the flow, Generating rapport, and Exiting gracefully. These techniques, drawn from our "Group Anxiety Fix" guide, are designed to slowly but surely rebuild your confidence and comfort in group settings. As you start to consistently apply them, you'll notice a shift - the tightness in your chest will fade, the racing thoughts will slow, and you'll feel more present, attuned, and able to contribute in a genuine, non-condescending way. With time and practice, group interactions will transform from a source of anxiety to a genuine opportunity for connection, belonging, and growth. You've got this!
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