981 people upvoted this because they're dealing with the same thing. Here's what actually works.
So. I’ve been a runner for a long time and am somewhat known around my office as the ‘runner guy’. Therefore it is not uncommon for the topic of running or training to come up. Sometimes people will say they are lacking in motivation, bored with their routes, or feel unsafe. In these cases I often suggest group runs, especially those at running stores. One gal was especially adamant that she will never go to a group run again unless she knows people. Apparently no one talks to her, she ends up running by herself, so if that’s the case… why go anyway. So I said she was crazy. So I was in the same neighborhood as a group run I had suggested to her and decided to try it out while my daughter was in dance class. I showed up and must admit it was quite clicky. The fast people stood toget...
Not all group runs are socially awkward. Individuals with social anxiety may find group situations challenging due to skills atrophy from avoidance, but this can be addressed through practice and self-compassion.
We've all been there - standing on the sidelines, watching a group banter and bond effortlessly, while our own hearts pound and our minds fill with self-doubt. The truth is, group social situations can feel incredibly awkward, especially for those of us with social anxiety. But it's not because there's something inherently wrong with us. The root of the issue lies in a phenomenon called "skills atrophy." When we avoid social interactions, the natural conversational and confidence-building skills we once had gradually diminish. It's like a muscle that atrophies from disuse. So when we're suddenly thrust into a group setting, our brain panics, convinced we have no idea how to navigate it. We become hyper-focused on our own perceived flaws, convinced everyone else has it all figured out. The good news is, there are concrete steps you can take to rebuild those "social muscles" and learn to thrive in group settings. Start with a reality audit - take an honest look at the evidence and challenge the negative assumptions your mind is making. Remind yourself of past successes and the skills you do possess. Then, use the BRIDGE method to gradually integrate yourself into the group, making small talk and finding common ground. Over time, this will reinforce your sense of belonging and confidence. Reframing your identity from "hopelessly awkward" to "learning and growing" is key. With practice and the right strategies, those group settings can transform from nerve-wracking ordeals to opportunities for genuine connection and belonging. It may feel uncomfortable at first, but the more you push through it, the more natural it will become. Before long, you'll be the one laughing and chatting effortlessly, no longer confined to the sidelines.
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