7 Reasons You Are Experiencing Getting Over A Breakup (And How To Fix Each One)
Getting over a breakup can be one of the most difficult emotional challenges you'll ever face. The pain, the loss, the self-doubt — it's all-consuming. But the good news is, there are specific reasons this process gets so tough, and for each one, there's a fix that can help you move forward.
In this article, we'll cover the 7 most common reasons people struggle to get over a breakup, and give you actionable steps to overcome each one. By the end, you'll have a clear path to healing and reclaiming your life.
You're Stuck in the Past, Unable to Move On
It's normal to constantly replay the breakup in your mind, wondering what went wrong and where things took a turn. But dwelling on the past only keeps you stuck. To move forward, you need to purposefully shift your focus to the present. Set aside dedicated "processing time" each day to journal, talk to a friend, or simply feel your feelings. But when that time is up, consciously redirect your thoughts to the here and now.
You're Constantly Seeking Closure
The desire for closure is common after a breakup, but seeking it compulsively can become an unhealthy obsession. Rather than reaching out to your ex over and over, accept that you may never get the answers or apology you crave. Focus instead on finding closure within yourself — write a letter you don't send, or have an imaginary conversation where you say everything you need to.
You're Punishing Yourself With Guilt and Shame
Maybe you feel like the breakup was your fault, or that you weren't a good enough partner. This self-blame and self-loathing will only prolong your suffering. Instead, practice self-compassion. Remind yourself that you did the best you could with the knowledge and resources you had at the time. Forgive yourself, and make a plan to be the kind of partner you wish you had been.
You're Keeping Toxic People in Your Life
Breakups are hard enough without having to deal with drama from mutual friends or family members. Set firm boundaries, and don't be afraid to distance yourself from anyone who is making the healing process harder. Surround yourself only with people who lift you up and support your growth.
You're Avoiding Your Emotions
It's natural to want to numb the pain of a breakup, but suppressing your emotions will only delay the healing process. Make time and space to fully feel and express what you're going through, whether that's through journaling, art, music, or talking to a trusted friend.
You're Neglecting Your Physical Health
When you're heartbroken, it's easy to let healthy habits slide. But taking care of your body is crucial for your mental and emotional wellbeing. Stick to a consistent sleep schedule, eat nourishing foods, and make time for exercise — even if it's just a short daily walk.
You're Comparing Yourself to Your Ex
It's common to constantly wonder how your ex is doing, or to obsess over their new life and relationships. But this kind of comparison will only make you feel worse about yourself. Instead, focus on your own healing and growth. Celebrate your small wins, and remember that you're on your own unique journey.