7 Reasons You Are Experiencing Dealing With Toxic Parents (And How To Fix Each One)
Dealing with toxic parents is one of the most challenging experiences a person can face. The emotional and psychological damage can linger for years, impacting every area of your life. Fortunately, there are specific reasons this problem occurs — and fixes for each one.
You're Afraid to Set Boundaries
Your toxic parents may have instilled a deep fear of setting boundaries or saying no. You feel guilty, anxious, or like you're a bad person for trying to protect yourself. The fix is to start small. Set one tiny boundary, then expand from there. Be firm, but also compassionate with yourself.
You're Trying to "Fix" Them
You believe that if you just try hard enough, you can change your toxic parents and make the relationship healthy. Unfortunately, this is unlikely to happen. The fix is to accept that you cannot control or change them. Focus on what you can control — your own healing and boundaries.
You Feel Responsible for Their Happiness
Toxic parents often make their children responsible for their emotional well-being. You may feel like a failure if they are unhappy. The fix is to remind yourself that their happiness is not your burden to bear. You are not responsible for their feelings.
You're Hoping for Validation
You keep trying to get the approval, love, or validation from your toxic parents that you never received as a child. The fix is to find that validation within yourself. Celebrate your own wins and give yourself the praise you deserve.
You're Stuck in the Past
You're holding onto hope that your parents will change or that you can repair the relationship to how it "used to be." The fix is to grieve the parents you wish you had, then focus on the present and future.
You Fear the Consequences
You're scared of how your toxic parents will react if you stand up to them. The fix is to prepare for their reactions and have a plan in place. Enlist the support of trusted friends or a therapist.
You Prioritize Family
You believe that you must maintain the relationship at all costs because "family is everything." The fix is to redefine what family means to you. Your true family are the people who love and support you unconditionally.